(Dateline: Charlotte Metro ~ Silver Bullet) Members of the Silver Bullet F3 group reported that one of their members invited a rogue Q to their otherwise gentlemanly workout group. The peaceful collegiality that they had theretofore enjoyed was shattered by the so-called “Valdez”, who led them mercilessly in all manner of forbidden movements. “It was awful” said one. He made us do bear crawls and squat thrusts, which everyone knows we just don’t do, as we all know that our species has evolved well beyond the bear-stage”. Another noted: “We were looking for an opportunity to break away, and some female runners came by on the sidewalk and several of us almost made a break for it, but that *%$#* Q dragged us back to the Circle of Pain and resumed his maltreatment.” It seems that much hellin’ and damnin’ occurred, but this seemed to only encourage the masochistic nature of the Q.
The Silver Bullet member who invited the rogue, so far unidentified, has gone into hiding.
One of the members made notes of what occurred. To wit…
Stretch (h’strings, ITB, arms, shoulders)
20x Sharon Towers
15xx Mountain Climbers
Bear Crawl + Lunge walk/Kareoke/Rabbit Hop. Jog back/ do again
15x Jump Squats
20x Low slow flutter
25x Russian Twists OYO
20x Hip Slaps
20x Dying Cockroaches
20 Turkish getups
20x Hand Slap Merkins
20x Partner Derkins
Slow Low Copperhead Squats
Peoples Chair w air press
5x Squat Thrusts/10x SSH/c’down
“Never again”, said one Silver Bullet, “will we allow an outsider, especially a rogue outsider, to break up the friendly and collegial nature of our group.”
There were no announcements, and we were taken out with a lovely prayer that began: “Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to enjoy another day…”, which warmed everyones hearts.
(seriously, fellows, it was a pleasure to be with you, and I thank you for your tolerance with my gritty style. If you have me back as Q again I can promise you that we will avoid Running, Burpees, Squat Thrusts and Bear Crawls hereafter– Valdez)