When the Cat is Away, The Mouse Will F*ck Sh*t up…

So, DoReMi is in Europe. On a cruise ship. On a creek in Czechoslovakia. Or maybe he’s on a riverboat in Germany. Whatever… he’s gone for like 2 weeks or 3 years. Wherever he is or whatever he’s doing, he ain’t here so I can pretty much do what I want and nobody can say anything. I mean the pax can complain, but what are they gonna do? I’m the Q, and the only time I get in trouble is when DoReMi—or his understudy Foo—clamp down on my creativity. I mean, they really are a couple of buzz kills. DRM shoots down ANYTHING that involves fire, animal sacrifice, or body piercing. And Foo…ya’ll know he killed the lunch lady , right? What else do you need to know?

Anywhooooooo… here’s what we did on Saturday.


Standard warm up. Because despite the bad adjectives and inability to conform to most guidelines of civility and decorum, I’m a pretty straight shooter.

Head to the different pull stations. 2 or 3 to a station, those not pulling an object 40 yards down and back did the called exercises.

The items to pull were: kayak with 50-pound Kb, Truck spare tire (with rim) and 25-pound plate, 2 35 pound plates with a chain on them pulled down and back on the asphalt, and my lawn mower with 2 45 pound plates strapped on (oh… and I lowered the deck as well).

Called exercises were ; 2 hand swings, goblet squat, lawnmowers, renegade rows, tricep extensions, hammer curls, squat press, figure 8, power to the people.

½ way through, we went to the parking deck for intermission. Simple exercise—line up at the base of the deck in a 3 point stance. On the correct snap call,run 1 ramp. If anybody false starts, run 2 ramps.

Back to the pain stations. But this time, walk backwards instead of forward.

We had a few minutes left, so we did alternating sets of flat on your back chest press and Iraqi Protractor.



Notes:   So, pulling stuff forward is hard. Pulling it backward is harder. I mean leaning forward and trying to chop your feet and move the weight smokes your quads. But try pulling weight running—even walking—backwards. You ham screens will scream at you. This was awful. Fun, but awful.

all but the 70 pounds of plates were pulled across the grass.  the plates were pulled on the pavement.

Now…for the intermission….. This should have been simple. As a football official, we call these things “coachable errors”. When the offensive line moves before the snap, it’s a false start. All you have to do is to listen for what the snap is on. The old guys of core could do it. But Marv and RopeAdope couldn’t do it. Not once. Marv blamed the acoustics. RopeAdope, as a former college football lineman, just denied he did it. I mean …he did it…right? So why argue that you didn’t do it when you did?

One thought on “When the Cat is Away, The Mouse Will F*ck Sh*t up…

  • September 17, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    I did no such thing. My technique in the 3 point stance is flawless….even better in a 2 point stance.

    No false start here. Remember what happened to the zebra at Webber University who called phantom false starts on me? The plains of Lakeland, Fla can hide more than one body.

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