Sometimes, my time management skills fail me. I mean, I’m a planner. I NEVER go to bed without the coffee maker programmed to click on at 0:WTF in the a.m. I sleep either in my workout clothes or with them in the kitchen ( yes I change in the kitchen it’s more efficient leave me alone). I plan the workout, and have everything loaded. But the one thing I had not planned on was how long it takes to make a turd out of frosting.
I’ll come back to that.
It’s Keefer’s 30th birthday, which is a big deal. He is now legally old enough to complain about kids being spoiled, forget where he put his car keys, and get a discount on car rentals. At CORE, we make a big deal out of moments like this. I appointed myself as Czar of Keefer’s Celebration, and thusly took on all of the responsibilities herein. So, I can’t complain about the time consumption or the cost involved in obtaining a near perfect circa 1987 Member’s Only jacket ( 12 minutes, $17.45) , getting new old truck tired ( 45 minutes, $00.00), getting 25 trophies ( 16 minutes, $33.23), and a cake with a turd-like creation in the middle ( $24.32, 67 minutes).
The members only jacket was conceived by Foo and I as the quintessential thing Keefer needed to better understand the Straightest Generation Ever. The tires were essential to a “Never Done That” beatdown. The trophies ( they were leftovers, everything from pool to cheerleading to soccer) symbolized the biggest complaint those of the respect and double respect generation have about millennials—they want a trophy for just showing up. Now for the cake…. It was a classic Teeter sheet cake , purchased only with the basic “ happy Birthday”. As far as YHC is concerned, it would be tasteless to ask the cake decorator “ Hey…could you put a turd on that cake for me? “ So, I purchased the can of chocolate icing, a can of peanuts, and a can of corn to create what has led to my latest nickname –“The BareAss Contessa”.
So that you know, making turn cakes is not commonplace for me. Keefer has a….habit? is that the word?…of being unable to pass a starbucks or a dunkin donuts without utilizing their facilities. In honor of this, said cake was created. Which, returning to my earlier train of thought, takes a lot longer than you might think. I mean, when you say “ Siri find out how to make a turd like creation on a sheet cake” you get nothing. Zilch. Notta. And so, I was delayed and almost panic stricken this morning as what I thought would be simple became complex.
Oh, BTW…we had a workout . Here’s how that happened:
COP: The Standard. Because we all need things in life that can be counted on.
Line up in 2 groups for tire flipping an called exercises. If you weren’t flipping a tire, you were doing whatever Keefer called.
Intermission in the parking deck. Distance ran had to do with whether or not keefer answered 80’s trivia questions correctly. He went 3 for 5, struggling towards the end.
Return for more KB stiff and tire flipping.
Finished with 11’s of protractor and chest press. Make that ½ of an 11 due to GAAP being all about the time constraints.
NMM: Justa great time. Cake was awesome, except nobody wanted a piece with turd on it. Everybody got a trophy. And, keefer looks awesome in his jacket. Glad to have such a wonderful bunch of goofy bastards to post with. Including the 2 soccer players from wherever they were from. Keefer, we love you and hope you are with us for many many more birthdays.
Playlist: all 80’s stuff, of course.