I consider F3 to be my laboratory. I routinely conduct experiments on subjects, similar to rats in a maze. just like the rats, the subjects ( heretofore known as the “pax”) don’t know that they are part of an experiment. This is why the experiments are so praised for their scientific value– the pax don’t know that they are subjects in an experiment, ergo they behave as they would normally behave.
Past experiments lead to the publishing of several notable and worthwhile articles, including ” Study of the effect of poly aprons, hairnets, and lunch lady gloves on men in the out of doors” and ” Tire flipping effect on team building.”
Both of these were published in ” Gastonia Journal of Stuff.”
Today’s experiment was based on the ffect of late 80’s fashion on the millennial psyche. In this honorable investigation of the male personality, one subject ( Keefer) was presented with a vintage 1987 “Member’s Only” jacket prior to the workout. In the previous CORE workout that morning, Keefer had not received the jacket. And thusly, he was a whiney bitch. However, would he be different after the presentation of an article that was worn by such notable men as Rick Springfield, Tom Selleck, and Micahel J. Fox?
Only science would tell…
Here’s are the parameters of the scientific study:
Mosey to the end of the street by the park
COP — the standard (one must control variables, you see…)
Head to the basketball court for partner assisted suiciceds aka the Kevorkian.
Mosey to bridge tunnel for some peoples chair, air presses, and donkey kicks.
Mosey to benches for 11’w with dips and step ups.
Mosey to bridge for accordions done derkin style and then incline merkins.
Mosey to rock pile for some heavy lifting , including switching rocks with the man next to you–important to make sure the results could be repeated in a natural environment.
Head back Indian run style for COT.
NMM: While the data is still being verified, it appears as though there was a significant change in Keefer. Stature was improved– he stood 5.4 centimeters taller, and his stride was extended by 7.54 centimeters. Vocabulary was improved, as phrases such as ” Sup, Bro” and ” Whatever dude.” were eliminated. And, most importantly, knowledge of U2 lyrics increased 54 %.
Great job on the nicknames. BTW…just let Monkey feet do these. he came up with Lucille ( a guitar player ) and wildfire ( home town Gilbert which led to Gilbert O’ Sullivan which MF said produced he 70’s hit “Wildfire”. He was wrong, but why argue?)