Black Friday at Attila

Fellows, bring your wallet and checkbook.  Deals like this don’t come along every day.

First up: A handy, pocket size booklet of maps of all the Core AO’s and surrounding areas. An absolute must-have when a MySharona Q ventures off-campus.

Magic tricks revealed.  For all pax in attendance tomorrow, leapmaster Starfish will give us the secret to how you can Q three workouts in three cities at the same time.

Starfish and Van Winkle will then offer their perspectives on the pros and cons of posting EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR.

Steal of the day: Clearance priced Rev Flo Rida replica F-100 toy trucks with all the actual dings and dents… and with real black exhaust (non-toxic).

Racks and racks of markdown priced vintage Skoal Bandit neon workout attire.  Neon yellow shirts; neon orange shirts; neon purple shirts; neon yellow and purple shirts; neon yellow, purple and orange shirts. Shorts of every imaginable color.  (Sorry, large and extra large only.)

Grapevine, please pay particular attention to the above.  I know how well the heavy cotton works for you, but we all believe you would look great in some of Skoal’s multi-colored throwaways.

Brand new, just in time for Christmas: G-rated, talking Nibbler doll.  So soft and cuddly.  (Recommended ages: newborn – 4 days)

How about this offer: Foo, Raid, Leibo and Midgett will play at your backyard party for a nominal donation to a charity of your choice.  Wuerffel, F3’s official greeter, cruise director and party planner, will provide all you need: food, drink, party favors and bouncers.  You might even talk him into bringing his celebrity entourage to impress your friends.  And I’m quite sure Rev Flo will make the donation for you if you let him sing with the band.

And now, for the latest in techno gizmo.  Just in: chip equipped reflector armband containing over 100 of Little W’s best quips and quotes.  Just imagine the fun – your partner for the morning workout accidentally trips and takes a hard fall.  You immediately help him up, right?  Yes, of course.  But first, you press the illuminated button on the armband to hear Little W say: “It’s not my fault, it’s not your fault, it’s the asphalt!”  It’s automatic mumblechatter!  What hilarity!

And did you know that Amazon Alexa now comes standard with a Tesla translator module.  Three to be given away at the end of the workout tomorrow courtesy of the Wheeling WV Chamber of Commerce.

Is your M frantically wondering what to get your for Christmas?  How about a GAAP bedside alarm clock?  No need to get up early. Just set the alarm for 5:26 a.m. and still get to the workout with 10 seconds to spare.  (The Kieffer model is less expensive but comes with no on-time guarantee.)

You’ll also want to stick around after the workout to get a signed copy of Money’s new autobiography: “Bad Ass Senior Citizen – Takin’ No Crap From NoBody”

Last but not least: BOGO burpees (limit 100 per person).

NMM: On this day I am thankful for many things.  High on the list is F3 and all the crazy goons that make up the F3 pax.  I’m lucky to call you my friends.  SYITG


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