Hope The Smoking Man’s In This One

WTF??!! YHC is still trying to get his head around what went down yesterday at Black Widow.

It all started when YHC strolled into the Trinity Pres backlot for EC and found Grizzly all alone in a deep state of meditation. When he heard YHC approach, Grizz turned and smiled like he knew what was up and YHC didn’t.  Vague memory of Grizz offering me the red pill because from that point on, nothing made sense.

We mosey towards the front of Trinity Pres. Felt like we were running in slow-motion as it took forever to get across the parking lot. Turns out we were lunge-walking…

In the front parking lot, we spotted a parked car with its engine running. Grizzly said it was an Uber driver. But as we went past the car, we swore the driver was Scully! So is Scully an Uber driver? C’mon, there’s no way Scully would show up 20 minutes before the workout and NOT join in EC – right?

Next, YHC & Grizz are standing in the Providence Prep parking lot discussing important topics like what the French call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and why don’t more Pax show up for EC?

We start a mini-COP with the makings of a Dirty McDeuce but due to time constraints, we only get in one round. Does that mean we did a Dusty McQuarter? Hmmm…

Down Providence to Sharon Amity stopping at the sidewalk rails in front of Eddies Too & Leroy Fox for a personal favorite: Derkins off the Top Rail. Moonshine introduced this to YHC a couple of years ago. When feeling bold, YHC calls for the top rails & when YHC needs to lay up and play it smart, the call is for Dips and Derkins off the low rail. Clearly today, YHC was feeling good.

Back to Shovel Flag for the waiting Pax. Now, it’s getting really weird. Boba Fett gets out his car. Is this for real or is YHC hallucinating? Boba Fett lives across the street – why did he drive here? In fact, Black Widow selected Trinity Pres because it wanted to be as close as possible to Boba Fett’s home.

We start running towards the front parking lot (Uber driver is gone but Scully is part of Pax…) and as we turn the corner, a horrific yelp – similar to a UVA fan watching UMBC rain 3 pointers – pierces the quiet gloom. Not sure what happened but Pitino is now standing where Fitty Shades once stood. Seriously, this workout is getting really freaky.

YHC takes the Pax to the preschool parking lot for SSH/ Staggered Merkins (L/R) and Copperhead Squats.

Time to get this show on the road. Head out on Montclair to Chandler down to the round-a-bout. Not sure why there is a round-a-bout here. Maybe Film Festival knows but he wasn’t there to enlighten us.

YHC kept his eyes out for KGB because you can never be too careful. No KGB sighting….

BTW – KGB is a Pax who lives on Chandler. Last year, Booty EH’d him to Bastion when a third neighbor complained about noise after a Fortress workout when it was actually the Black Widow Pax 3 days earlier. Here’s the scary part: the complaint was made on a Friday and specifically referenced noise from Pax high-fiving each other. No high-fiving on a Friday??? That’s like the Burgermeister Meisterburger banning toys in Sombertown….

Back to the workout:
From the round-a-bout circle, Pax run up Chandler to Montclair for 14 Knee-ups
Back down to the circle for 2 4-count Peter Parkers
Run up Chandler to Rutledge for 14 Jump Squats
Back to circle for 2 4-count Parker Peters
That’s one round
Rinse & repeat for 7 rounds total
Reduce Knee-ups & Jump Squats by 2 & increase Peter Parkers & Parker Peters by 2

In my current mental state of confusion, YHC clearly forgot how long Chandler is. By the time all Pax finished with the 7 rounds, it was time to leave.

Back to Rutledge stopping once for Burpees (damn that evil voice inside my head!) before returning to Trinity Pres.

Circle up on the new half circle drive for Mary: LBC/ Rosalita/ Dolly

Mosey back to the Shovel Flag

At this point, you’d think everything would settle down and make sense – nope

Bullwinkle did his usual LIFO thing since he’s an important dude who has places to be, deals to make and people to see

After count-a-rama, YHC included Bullwinkle, Hamlet (another LIFO) and Fitty since he did show up at the start before being replaced by Pitino for a total of 17 Pax. Then during name-a-rama, Bullwinkle magically re-appeared. Whoa, how does that happen? So YHC adjusted the total Pax count to 16. But here’s where it gets really strange. Post workout, YHC came up with 16 names on the Pax list but know there is a least one name missing.

No clue to what happened with the count and names. Grizz volunteered to record the names for YHC. He sent me the recording but it was indecipherable. Finally, YHC played the recording backwards and it sounds like Grizz is saying “Paul is dead.”

BL: Have names for 16 Pax but believe there were 17 total. Please shout-out below if you were left off.

Ok so Fitty went down hard. Original report was he twisted his ankle by stepping in a pot hole. However, during COT, pressure got to Beaker who confessed he took Fitty out. But according to Ruby, based on Beaker’s location at the time, there was no way he could have tripped Fitty. So speculation is there was a 2nd Pax on the Grassy Knoll. Investigation continues while the Pax wish Fitty a speedy recovery.

Rare Huddle sighting while Pax did Jump Squats on Rutledge. Huddle could be seen taking out the trash under the cover of darkness. The guy has avoided the spotlight longer than Luke Skywalker did after his nephew turned to the Dark Side.

Not sure if it was real or not, but YHC swears he saw glow rings around Seaworld. When YHC asked about it, Seaworld went all quiet like his namesake does when CNN comes calling. #Blackfish

From YHC’s perspective, looked like the glow rings and KY were the lead dogs all morning. Safe to say Sauerkraut would have been right there with them if he had been invited.

Chowda came on strong at the end pushing his way to the front. However in COT, he admitted to cheating and forfeited his prize money.

Hope that’s everything. Have that feeling I’m missing something. Oh well…

Thanks to Grizz and Big Worm for this mind-expanding experience. BTW – this is why Pax don’t show up for EC.


One thought on “Hope The Smoking Man’s In This One

  • March 22, 2018 at 6:46 am

    always take the Red Pill….

    Way to #LBE Lead By Example Sump! Always a pleasure to follow you in the gloom.

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