Do you even cadence, bro?

The Main Event:

On this beautiful morning at the stroke of 5:30am on my 1991 Timex Ironman, one minute off of Cupertino time, once the direction of the park was established, 16 PAX juked right and mosey’d the length of East Blvd and down Scott.

Upon arrival at the Wedge tip:

Warm-Up: 20 SSH; 10 Low Slow Merkins; 10 Squats; 20 LBC

Workout: Partner up for a grueling 3 laps around the wedge.

One partner ran up one side, the other partner the opposite side, meeting in the middle of Pierce for a combined 10 Dumbocrats;

continue run up to meet in the middle of Buchanan for 20 Partner Sit-Ups each;

continue run up to meet in the middle of Fillmore for 20 Partner Merkins;

finish run up to East Blvd for a 10 jump squat a piece rendezvous (Tilda & I were the only ones doing partner jump squats to their full potential – facing each other for intense eye contact);

Doobie led Mary while the rest of us caught up, Redd Foxx took the PAX to the gravel lot for burpees while I used waiting on the 6 as an excuse to catch my breath and CT made for good pace company;

Mary on the sidewalk;




Redd Foxx had cordially invited me to schedule Q at Bandit awhile back. I was reminded of this invite opening my twitter account (@hbedward) Tuesday morning when he informed F3 Metro that I would not only be a site FNG, but the Q! So thank you all for the warm welcome and the willingness to follow a new attendee and leader.

It was good to see such a good mix of Big Hair Monday regs, my clown car compadres Tilda & Black Gold, plus so many Sparta faithful all together in one place! Though I’m new to Bandit, it felt like home! This is not the first time I’ve forgotten the order of the exercise call on the spot, cadence in particular – grateful for OBT’s grace…I was just making sure he was paying attention. Was flattered by Doobie and Vamos’ enthusiasm, almost throwing themselves into the grinder before all the details were announced. Were they excited to get started? Or afraid of what else I would add? We will forever wonder. Believe it or not, I actually had more exercises planned for the main event than what we did, haha! I definitely learn best through experience and 3 full rounds through The Wedge proved a full plate. After Mariah mumbled as he ran past me with ease that we’d need to sprint in order to finish 3 rounds, I thought maybe my eyes were bigger than my stomach! But, to no surprise, everyone showed up with their A-game this morning. There may have been lots of questions that first round as to what exercises with what counts went where – a result of mediocre listening skills? Or questionable delivery from the Q? How about we call it a combined effort? – but everyone fell into step in good time. Doobie & Free Toga charged the hill supernaturally, the only time I ever saw them after the start was when they were about to lap me. Vamos kept questioning the “No rest?” policy every time we past each other at the Wedge tip, as if I had changed my mind between rounds – I respected his consistency. Dover made the whole thing look easy. I could see in Reddd Foxx’s eyes that he needed more burpees – next time I’ll remember to feed the beast. Most of the PAX maintained a tight grouping at the intersections and I was proud to see and hear the storm of Dumbocrats, sit-ups, hand slap merkins and jump squats that had descended on that luckiest of blocks in Dilworth. And it didn’t get any better for my money than hearing that this was Janglin’s SECOND post! If he keeps playing this hard we’re all going to be huffing and puffing to keep up with him before long.

Thanks again for the warm welcome and the good start to the day!

PS – Is Gentle Ben a real PAX or a phantom medicine man only seen and heard by the thousands he has healed?


Praise Report:

Pâté’s son is out of the hospital and the word on the street is that he’s already back to playing sports like the tiny Jose Canseco he is! Continued health over him!!



May 11th – Comedy for the whole family! Improv Charlotte (feat Double Nickels) at Free Range Brewing in NoDa, this Friday, 8pm, $10, all money going to Justice Ministries to purchase a Mobile Safe Unit to extract victims of human trafficking here in Charlotte.

May 18th – We’re celebrating and sending Mariah out in style! He and his family are moving to the Big Easy soon. You will be greatly missed! Get in touch with Redd Foxx (@F3_RedFox on twitter) to reserve your spot for axe throwing and beer drinking.

One thought on “Do you even cadence, bro?

  • May 9, 2018 at 8:45 pm

    Damn DN. I have to admit I was expecting you to play it safe today but boy was I wrong.

    First, you nearly drop the 6 within the first 5 minutes. #hotstart.

    Second, you proceeded to brow beat us up and down the Wedge for 40 minutes.

    Third, you planted that jerk off driving an Audi that tree to mow us down on the sprint Home down east Blvd.

    Fourth, you forgot to mention the nasty head over heals down hill spill black gold took on one of his trips back to the bottom of the wedge. All I heard was the sound of a buffalo playing in the pine needles and turned around to see him rolling down the hill. Popped up quick without injury and kept pushing it.

    Well done man and another great Pray out. Thanks for the unexpected today as promised!

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