Do not fear what you are about to suffer

Do you hear that? That’s right, it’s the smell of fear. Been far too long since Muthaship Monday turned Steal-Parking From-The-Church Monday has ventured to the worst vertical situation in all of F3. Apparently Ballz went to surgically drop weight before the next fun run so I got the call to action from the only guy in F3 actually shorter than me. I accepted.

Prior to Hillary’s nipples bleeding we were off. Everyone seemed to know exactly where we were going.

Arriving at the Ship. Instructions for a Muthaship Suicide to every floor. Exercises at the top and at the bottom. 150 LBCs to finish.

Backwards to the top stopping at every even floor for exercises. Partner wheelbarrow at the top. Down tot he bottom, up to 8, down to the bottom.

Run home stopping partway for exercises. COT

Sounds simple but it wasn’t. Everyone stopped on he way back except for Cindy. He continued on. When asked what he did to wait. No kidding here, he said Boone-ups and Swamp-squats. 3 sets. Yeah, I kinda miss those guys too. Not in that weird sort of way, but kinda.

Hillary’s nipples really do bleed when he runs. The man has built probably dozen’s of CVS buildings, but he apparently doesn’t own a box of bank-aids. Or, and this is just a theory, he likes the satisfaction of his own bloody nipples. He’s still the nicest guy in F3. Wish him luck as he travels to Cuba this week. That’s where he launders his money. No Scott, we said the Caribbean, but not THERE. Money go in, it no come out.

So I’ve had plenty to do today, but I’ve been distracted by one single phrase. Post workout some of us were talking about how many stops on the way up the Muthaship. It was determined that there are stops on all of the even floors including the top. Only the first stop (on 2) doesn’t have 2 drive lanes so we skipped it this morning. And Dredd said, and I think he was serious, that he counts the right turns. There’s six of them. It’s a perfect circle Dredd. It’s nothing but 8% grade, 1/3 of a mile of one single turn. Kind of like how many grooves in a 45 record? Just one. How many turns in the Muthaship? Just one Dredd.

Oh also, Hillary told a joke before the workout. It wasn’t funny, so he post-classified it as a pun. Like he was trying to get out of it was supposed to be funny. Kind of like turning up the stereo to cover your fart.The funny part was Hillary telling a terrible joke, screwing it up (it wouldn’t have been funny if he didn’t screw it up) and then telling us it wasn’t a joke but a pun. If you don’t know Hillary, now you do. Look for the nicest guy with the bloodiest nipples who tells terrible jokes but refuses to admit defeat.

I saw PBo last night at a dinner. Hadn’t seen him in a long time. Claims he has been having trouble getting out of bed early. But he was there today. Late. But he was there. He just sort of materializes and then blends in. You ask him where he came from and he just sort of smirks. That’s been him for the 7 or so years I’ve known him. Always late and smirking. It’s a little unnerving. I’ll bet he used to do that in class and piss the professor off something awful. Also – Apparently he and Cindy have the same speech writer. Not that the Sky Q could ever hate a prayer, but some guys are just better at it than others (I won’t call on him next time). But thanks for taking us out.

So Holtz got the visibility memo. My safety vest buddy was out front for both the runs today. Good thing too because the traffic light Q wasn’t with us today. And I’ve determined something. Metro guys treat running intersections like a game. Not the thing we should be doing. Just sayin’.

Low and Slow. Caesar HC’s for 6at6 last Saturday, doesn’t show, then tweet-mocks me. I didn’t let him get away with it. He twitter-apologized. All is forgiven.

As of this printing no reply text from Ballz. I guess he had to get his appendix out. Hope he’s ok. Thinking of you.

Hopefully now the Mutha will have been satisfied for a while and we won’t have to go back. Ever. Thanks for the last minute request to Q Gandalf.

Until next time. 

Your friend,




2 thoughts on “Do not fear what you are about to suffer

  • May 6, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    I guess I’m still searching for my D2x…

    Great overall workout today, Slaughter. It’s 100% possible I fell asleep during a 9:30am call today. I can’t quite account for a few minutes around that time.

  • May 8, 2019 at 10:57 am

    Slaughts–The last time you and I measured height back-to-back (3rd grade style), we were the exact same height. The rest of the bb is 100% accurate.

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