69 Feet

“Cindy, that was the hardest F3 workout I’ve been to.” – In&out

“Sucktastic” – TMLee

“Damn your shit is big” – Roxy in the Uptown parking lot

Well hot damn!  The ‘Tank was off the chain this morning.  We had a smorgasbord of HIM’s ready to cook up some bacon.  Or some pink tacos.  Whatever you prefer.

10k Training Blueprint:

EC:  Up and over the wedge of Kennilworth and East Blvd for a quick 1.75.  Did 23 dips for jumpman.

Main Feature:  The Panty Dropper Mile dash up Morehead stopping for 5 merkins and 10 kneeups at each side street.  Screwed around in the Uptown parking lot waiting for Doobie to get his AARP card.  Had a Boonie sighting running/not running the sweet6.  Hauled ass into the heart of the city, stopping for some ab exercises that don’t work, and then over to the ‘Mutha.  Up the spiral, down the stairs, up the stairs, and back down the spiral.  Out of the Mutha over to some corner where Slutzzz tries to sell his F3horsepiss/beer.  Did more Mary that doesn’t do anything.  Down 4th street to Greenway.  Waited for Cholo.  Again.  One time up and over Target and back home.  Just another typical 6.35 mile boot-camp.  Your welcome.

Fun Facts about some dudes that you don’t see often in the ‘Tank:

Cherry Popper:  Founded CrossFit in 2000 and can do 178 dead lifts in a row.  Left Crossfit once Reebok came on board and started opening fake bank accounts for people with Wells for a living.

Indian Hill:  Swam professionally at ECU and once beat Phelps at a game of cornhole.  Now he works full time for his kick ass wife who you can read about in the new Charlotte Biz Journal.  #melsday

Doob’s:  Supposedly Doobs just had a birthday which has to make him 60 something.  Did your mom or dad never teach you how to run?  Doobs does like the dirty worm though…

EZ:  I bet you didn’t know EZ has a cousin who owns a Latin barbershop on Independence that is open on Sundays?

FRANK:  I’ll be honest…don’t know a whole lot about Dread’s whipping boy except that he wears Patrick Ewing knee braces.  I’ll give him credit though.  Showed up, plowed through, and finished the workout.  Stick with me bro.  I’m out front #69feet.

Pipeline:  Not sure if he is in 4th or 5th grade but dude sure is a city saver.  Keep on doing your thing little guy.

In&Out:  He actually said the first quote above.  HIM of the year.

That’s all for now.  DIB – you suck.  You are undeserving of that Elon diploma.


2 thoughts on “69 Feet

  • May 16, 2019 at 4:06 pm

    Nice backblast King. Someone is going to have to teach that 24 year old burger boy when to keep his mouth shut.

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