Birthdays, Bullsh*t, and bongwater

Here’s the thing about backblasts: I actually love doing them. I think it’s why I Q—so I can produce literature for the masses. Truly, I love doing these things. AT the same time, I struggle to get them done in a timely fashion. I can give you all of the excuses but they don’t matter, because Fishwrap gets them done on time, and if he can do it we all should. Fish sleeps for 38 minutes a night due to his schedule. He eats every meal in his car, and actually pays a Choctaw woman to pre-chew his food so he can eat while talking. I don’t know why the woman is a Choctaw, but that’s just how it happened. Even more importantly, Fishwrap records his backblasts and has them transcribed onto papyrus and stored in the library of congress.


So, there was a workout that Money and I co-Q every year to celebrate our birthdays. I am on the 15th, Money is the 14th, so it makes sense to do it together. I collect precious moments, he collects hand grenades, but hey opposites attract so there you go.

We got together and did a bunch pf stuff. Here’s all you need to know:

  1. We did NOT due the standard because Money doesn’t believe in them. He pays his bills one time a year, and that’s whenever he feels like it. He once paid PNG for 19 months service in one payment—and that was in nickels. NICKELS!
  2. WE did PIMPS for the first time—pullups, imperial walkers, merkins, plank jacks, squats. We started to do some other stuff but ran out of time.
  3. WE did the over under and the group sit up because Money wanted to. I think this has something to do with the fact that he was in the French Foreign Legion—he tells great stories about fighting the Basque separatists. Or maybe it was the Bust separatists. Anyway, he fought with a bunch of French folk and has great stories to tell. Ask him about the time a beagle ate his Rolex in Pont de Whatthefuck and he gave it coffee enema—HYSTERICAL!
  4. We finished with Mary, again because Money wanted to.


We had a pretty good time. I love this group—it’s kind of like the Jesuit version of Delta house. You got Bluto at one end smashing some folk singers guitar, and at the other end is a fellow saying the rosary and praying for the souls of the damned.

Try finding that at Cross fit…


I gotta1 go. Sorry I messed up the recording and don’t remember who was there. I just figured presidents worked.

2 thoughts on “Birthdays, Bullsh*t, and bongwater

  • July 22, 2019 at 5:11 pm

    I’ll tell ya why, Choctaw’s have 11 canines and 23 molars and can fuck up a grilled Rattlesnake in seconds.

    I collect precious moments as well.

    Correction: It’s Birthdays, Bitches and Bongwater #B3

  • July 23, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    If science ever catches up with my inagination……I’d make a baby with you Fishwrap. He’d be born with a tattoo, long hair and a dip in.

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