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The BackBlast:

Here I am typing this MF’r and what do I freaking see on @Twitter??? @Bulge dang typed a backblast himself…holy crap what kinda bizzarro world are we living in?!?!

What in the hell has happened to F3 since @Uncle broke the website and destroyed all the memories? Where is freak’g @WakeUpCall in the cutoff? Does #MudGear still buy @Bunny socks?

Okay, we’re about to kick it freaking old school. Like F3 before all you medium impact men forgot your freaking gender. Here’s the buck naked moleskin:

@Bulge asks me to Q next week. @Lee texts and wants to switch to this week. Then I try to pass it off on @Dreadd but he won’t bite. F.

4:30am – alarm goes off -…”f it. I might just go to Orange Theory.”

4:40am. roll over…”damnit. fine.” Coffee started. now I gotta look at the map on my phone for 10 minutes to figure out what the hell I’m going to do over there.

5:10am. Don my “F3 High Impact Mother Fucker” t-shirt

5:13am. roll out.

5:28am. Thin Slice steps out of a red Cadillac. Because who else would step out of a red Cadillac.

5:29am. Brief introduction, disclaimer, short marketing blurb for F3 gear.

5:30am. Immediate regret, disappointment and thoughts of running back to my car.

So now I’m running at an 11 out of 10 because of course, I’m the “Q” so I can be in the back like some #jerry, so I gotta run my ass off just to stay ahead. I’m gasping for air and I can feel the freaking fat jiggling on my gut as a constant reminder of how out of shape I am.

Head to the flat iron building for dips/derkins and 5 burpees a level at the parking deck. @Cindy had his Hamas socks on and @Lee wouldn’t talk to anybody. Seriously, its like the guy hasn’t even read QSource.

Leave the deck and head to #SnugHarbor for squats/merkins. @Cindy brushed up against a telephone pole and got tetanus so we had to leave. Side note: @Bry got scolded by the #Klub for spilling vape juice so he’s on a sabbatical and his handicap is skyrocketing.

Down to Central/Hawthorne to reminisce by my old apartment and talk about how things used to be. Remember how things used to be? We rolled back to the lot and got back 5 minutes early but who is really counting.

Who’s signed up for the #MudRun? I miss @BenFranklin.

Peace out.