MMOB Assassination Attempt & Truth Monopolies

The BackBlast:

A Washington state worth of electoral votes showed up for the ‘Election Run Off’ edition of Sweet Six this morning.  It was incredible, just incredible.  Turnout was huuuuuuge.  Bigger than Trumps inauguration crowd.  And civility was at an all time high.  Metro has never seen anything like it.  Trust me, I’d know.

Moonshine’s ballot was invalidated.  Partially because he left early and early votes don’t count.  Partially because he sounded like he had COVID during what expanded to a very wide COT.  WhatDid left early as well but we may have to get a ruling from Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Barrett.  It was a tweener infraction.  Send it to the courts.  I’ll report back in a few weeks with results.

In a cruel twist of fate, F3’s most politically involved pax was almost assassinated by an Antifa bus driver while participating in a political unity run.  The radical environmentalist used his electric motor to silently creep up on our man and missed the side swipe slaughter by a matter of inches.  The right lives to fight another day.

In typical Metro fashion, a political unity run devolved into a AYG sprint finish.  YHC took the lead early but we all knew this was the equivalent of including Ross Perot in the televised debate.  Ewok had a strong Bernie surge midway before fading because he ran out of breathe listing all the things that should be free.  Thin ‘Mayor Pete’ Slice just kinda hung around.  We couldn’t get rid of him but we all knew he never really had a chance.  Ultimately Ballz was propelled to victory his effervescentness and ability to paper over some questionable decision making in middle school.

To cement the unity theme YHC provided free water at the end.  What I didn’t tell the pax was that it was laced with LSD.  That usually calms the nerves and brings people together.  And speaking of… Congrats to drugs for winning the war on drugs this election!  Underappreciated result.

In all seriousness, my usual structure for a backblasts is taking events that actually happened during the workout, embellishing them heavily, and littering the whole thing with alliterations and nonsensical slang.  Its all very pithy.  However, in the spirit of this morning’s special edition I’ll break character for a minute… This election season has been brutal.  It is almost over.  Don’t forget that the candidates, attack ads, and yard signs will be gone in short order.  Your neighbor won’t.  And that uncle who voted for the wrong guy is going to be at Thanksgiving.  It is time to start the healing process.   Acknowledge that no one (or single party) has a monopoly on the truth.  The world is complicated.  There are lots of solutions.  Have a conversation with someone who has a different point of view than you.  Consider that view thoughtfully and with intellectual honesty.  Turn off information channels that simply feed you conformation bias so they can monetize your time.  Let’s get back to a point where disagreements between friends are not only okay but actively encouraged.  Life is more interesting with dissenting views.  Especially if we can express them without being assholes.

[insert asshole related fart joke to get back to pithiness]

Love,

Bel Air