My Emotional Support Dags

The BackBlast:

The reprobates of Upper Management had been pestering me about Qing for some time.

“Do it, Fish, the glooms not the same without you.”

I know that. So, I did it. If you fcked up and missed it, you can try again on the following dates.

March 10, 2021

June 22, 2022

January 4, 2023

I’m not kidding about those dates. Rhapsody schedules out 5 years in advance. I wasn’t available on the assigned Wednesday in 2024. It was too confusing to try and figure out the swap.

UM knows I’m lazy and reference some dumb shit a neighboring Region is doing Nationwide and suggest I do that. I comment, if I comment at all, “That’s dumb, I’m not doing that.”

They tell me I’m right, they tell me it doesn’t matter, they say, “You’re Fishwrap.”

It’s true. I am. I get it.

It’s a brand. Has a solid reputation. Drawing power.

I’m like Nike, if Nike had a d*ck. Formidable as a Greek God. Hypnos. Herpes. Hepatitis.

I didn’t know what I was going to do, or if I could even do it if I did. I’m not in F3 shape. The last year or so I’ve been more about my comfort and well-being.

It started with a purchase of a set of MyPillow. No, the hot tub. No, I got the pillows first then I bought a hot tub. I got upsold. Goodness. I sleep through the night. I mean, I sleep the whole damn time. That’s an effective ass pillow.

Around the same time, I invested in new bedding. Not the sheets. Those were just getting good and ripe. I got a new comforter. Down. Goose feather. It’s so soft and fluffy. I’m not getting out of that, are you nuts!

Shams too. Decorative only. Looks pretty when the beds made.

Next, my wife told me she wanted to turn the Living Room into an old-school Coffee Shop inspired space. Sofas and chairs everywhere. With bookshelves you pick up from Sleepy Poet, for books and shit. Overlapping runners on the hardwoods that somehow manage not to clash. If they do, you don’t care, ‘cause you’re a hip Coffee Shop inspired space.

We never invite people over, and never leave, so this hip Coffee Shop inspired space is just for us. To do this right, you go with the L-Shaped LoveSac sectional. Then, you build around it. Like a Kohler faucet. Oh my!

So, that’s the comfort. I’m still figuring out the well-being. For me, when I need the emotional support, I call on the Dags. In F3, this is commonly referred to as the MF’n shieldlock. If you don’t have it, get it.

Oh yeah, the workout. The first 15-20 we dicked around. Then,

We did this week’s IronPax Challenge:

50 Squats
40 WWII Situps
30 Merkins
20 Jump Lunges
10 Burpees

400m run

x 4 rounds

Then, with 10 minutes left on the clock: Burpees, 100 yard sprints, 100 yard recovery. Repeat until 0615

That part was kind of ridiculous.

We had maybe 3 or 4 guys doing the IPC for time. Like, for real, for real. Active IronPax Challenge participants.

Redd Foxx killed it. Not sure of his time and wouldn’t share it with you if I did.

Shout out to my boys, Bllz, Check, Cindy and Swamp.

Bllz I actually texted and requested his emotional support. Check found out and ruined Lee’s lead at Ranger. Cindy and Swamp came to love on me. What, they did. I’m not kidding about that. It was sweet.

Had a 100 or so guys post this morning and was told this was the best non-convergence workout in the history of Metro and quite possibly the Nation.

My man, Stinger. Look, I don’t want to make things weird. But if I were gay. And he was gay. I’d want him to be my boyfriend.

Damnit! Made it weird.

Had a great time! Thanks for coming.