The bus accident that didn’t happen, but could have.

The BackBlast:

When Carrier wants to co-Q with another pax, he calls up a heavy hitter from out of town. Not just any heavy hitter, but a heavy lifter who regularly posts to ShoreCard. Carrier is honored to also be in a Shield Lock group with Nomad. (If you don’t have a Shield Lock, you should consider finding or forming one.) Carrier and Nomad started their extensive planning for today’s Q way back on Tuesday, as in this past Tuesday. So needless to say, the Thang was thoroughly planned out to every minute of the workout. There wasn’t a stone unturned – actually, there a lot of stones, aka coupons, rocks, boulders, that were left alone when the time came for the pax to choose one for some wood choppers, tricep extensions, overhead presses, curls, and upright rows under one of the bridges on the greenway. This moment came after a short mosey from the parking lot stairs above Metropolitan. Carrier admits that he had never been up these particular stairs, and a number of pax relayed to him that they had been asked to exit the areas at previous workouts. So Carrier took the pax only up the stairs one time for a quick suicide on the top level which included merkins and squats. We were lickety split back down the well lit stairs before security could chase us off. We had our defense attorney Sparty with us, but to tell you the truth, he never did us any good when we faced off with the mall parking cop patrolling the Target parking deck. Just to see if he happens to ever read this, Wahoo in that previous incident said he was going to call the owner of the parking deck to plead our case, but oddly, Wahoo has posted again to Attila since he said he would try to intervene. Wahoo was not at Attila today – where is Wahoo?! It’s kind of like “Where is Waldo?” Now where was I? I’m working backwards from the point we were lifting heavy objects to the point in the workout where a bus tried to take out 8 citizens using their right to bear crawl up a public street at 6 a.m. I would guess that not a single one of today’s pax has ever seen a bus on this small stretch of payment, but today, this bus driver was in a real hurry. Core pax may sometimes be a little older, but it can also said that they are all the more wiser with their added number of years to be on the lookout for crazy bus drivers. Ok, I told MySharona I would write a backblast, and also felt obligated having the Nantan Metro-North in our pax today, but now I’m getting tired of being creative, fun, imaginative, brilliantly descriptive of what occurred in the gloom. The real question is who cares about the 45 minutes that happened this morning. The 8 pax that posted this morning do because they were there. One thing they cared about even before they started was where was Skoal, VanWinkle, Thermostat, and Deuces. We miss them. Another thing that they cared about was why when you push the button requesting the light to change, does it take forever, almost as if that button is like the “door open” or “door close” in an elevator – they are just for looks and don’t do anything except make you feel good that you had a hand in setting the course of the future. At that moment, Carrier had called dips until the light changed, and lo and behold, it just never changed, so the dips continued until every pax said screw this, I’ll go push that dang gone button again, because none of us believe Sparty actually pushed. We eventually made it across and proceeded to climb some stairs before doing a brief 4 corners with boxcutters, stagger rights, stagger lefts, and squats. Back to that hill with the bus – here’s what we did: ran up the hill to the top (the top was left open for individual interpretation by each pax), at the top we did one good form 6 count burpee, then returned to the bottom of the hill. BTW, there was music provided at this workout, and everyone loved it. Some broke out in song. No, not really. It was music that they play at raves which is funny, because I’m absolutely sure that none of the pax had ever attended a rave. Imagine MySharona jumping from the stage into a moshpit, Rocketman turning in to a headbanger. I’m almost certain that Scrooge was elected in high school to be most likely to attend a rave. Speaking of jumping off stages or doing other crazy things, DoReMi and Rocketman are headed to the city of sin to attend a rave event in the Sphere and a race event called a Spartan. The second part of that last sentence is correct, but the first part is only partially correct. I didn’t finish the stuff we did on the hill, but it included burpees, plank jacks, leg lifts, merkins, squats, karioke, backward runs, and lunge walks. Nomad kicked us off with a Circle of Pain and wrapped us up with 5 minutes of mary and COT. That doesn’t do justice to what he leaded us in, but if you were there, you already know. Got to go! Come to Attila and experience the best Friday workout in Metro North that isn’t Combine, which I’m pretty sure, none of today’s pax except for Scrooge even knew existed.